We All Begin Somewhere

Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

What do you want to be when you grow up? At 23, I still find myself asking that question. Maybe I’m not fully “grown up” yet—or maybe the better question is: Who do you want to be when you grow up?

For me, life has never been about the accomplishments or accolades that fill a resume. It’s about people. It’s about connection. From childhood to early adulthood, I found it hard to grasp the idea of defining my life by degrees and titles. It always felt a little small, a little confining. I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to follow the “normal” path that society set out: Go to school, get good grades, pick a career, and let it shape the unknown years ahead. But no matter how much I tried to fit into that mold, something deep inside me knew it wasn’t the right fit. It just wasn’t me.

At 21, after two years in college, I walked away. In hindsight, I should’ve done it sooner. The truth is, that was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. It didn’t feel like my decision at first. I was lucky to have a supportive family who stood by me, and friends who knew it was the right move for me. But, for so long, I didn’t have the confidence to trust myself outside the “safe” boundaries of school, degree, and career. I constantly wondered, What will people think if I drop out? and What story will people tell about me?

I wish I could give that younger version of myself a hug, remind her that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. To show her the person I am now. Back then, it felt like failure. I had stepped away from something that wasn’t right for me, but hadn’t yet discovered what was. It was terrifying. It’s hard to move forward when the path isn’t clear. But I came to understand that rejection is often redirection—and this was my personal rejection of a life I wasn’t meant to live, and the beginning of something new.

The Journey Begins

Yoga entered my life when I was 14. I came for the physical practice, but stayed for the mental clarity. Having spent so much of my life in gymnastics, the physical side of yoga felt natural. But what I didn’t expect was how it would shape my heart and my mind.

In the winter of 2022, after encouragement from yoga teachers who had become close friends, I decided to take the plunge and earn my 200-hour teacher training certification. By February 2023, I was officially a yoga teacher. The universe seemed to align, and I found myself teaching while working full-time. I’d never felt more connected, more me. The pieces started falling into place, and I was finally walking the path of who I wanted to be—not defined by a degree or a job title, but by the energy I shared with others.

Then came the Fall of 2023. Life was good. Simple. I was content in the world I had created for myself, but a quiet voice deep inside me told me there was more to discover. I knew there was another step for me to take in my yoga journey. I had always wanted to dive deeper, and that calling led me across the world to India.

I put down the deposit for a 500-hour teacher training in Goa, uncertain yet excited, still wondering if I could truly be the person to embark on this journey. But when I arrived, I wasn’t just changed—I found myself. Fully. Authentically. I felt like I had come home.

A journal entry during my time there:

“In so many ways I’ve been forced back into myself, into my body and soul. I’ve been thinking about what Brenda (a wonderful teacher and friend) said—that India will heal me. I agree. It has led me back to me.”

The Road Ahead

By March 2024, I left India with a 500-hour yoga teacher certificate and a newfound sense of self. I knew I’d be back to India someday. The universe always seems to have a way of pulling us exactly where we need to be.

Fast forward to now. Life’s been a whirlwind. After returning from India, I packed up and moved from Wisconsin to Denver, starting fresh in a new city. I left my job as a nanny and fully embraced teaching yoga full-time. And just when I thought things were getting settled, the universe nudged me once again. In January 2025, I’ll return to India—not as a student, but as a teacher, guiding others through the same transformative training I completed earlier this year.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back and reassure that younger version of myself who wasn’t sure which way to go. But the truth is, that version of me had to exist in order for me to become who I am today. And the person I am now is exactly who I need to be to become the person I’m meant to be tomorrow.

Looking back, I realize that life was never meant to be about the classroom, the degrees, or the titles we wear. It’s about the people we meet along the way—and maybe more importantly, the person we become through it all.

I’m so grateful our paths have crossed in this moment. I hope that, in some small way, this story speaks to you.

With love,

J

"It may be when we no longer know what to do, that we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey." - Wendell Berry